Wedding Wednesday: Hotel alternatives

There are some adorable places to stay in the historic Soulard neighborhood of St Louis.

My goal for the past few weeks has been to choose and reserve a place for Ben and I to stay on our wedding night, and I finally checked this item off my list today! Our wedding guests are invited to reserve their rooms in our wedding block at the Westin St. Louis according to the directions on our website (see the 'guest information' page), but we wanted to select something out-of-the-box for our own newlywed lodging. If you're reading this and thinking 'yeah right, they just didn't want to stay at the same hotel as their family after the wedding!' ...you are absolutely correct.

However, after researching vacation rentals in the historic Soulard area, I was also really motivated to find a place that Ben and I could easily walk to after the reception. It turns out that there are at least three apartments within 0.1 miles of our venue! All of them start at $160/night and have two-night minimums, but sleep at least 4 people comfortably. Ben and I selected this one, which sleeps 7, so that he and his groomsmen can stay there the night before the wedding and arrive at the 9th Street Abbey early to deliver and set up some of our decor. After the reception, he and I will stumble/crawl/sleepwalk back. The other two apartments we considered are owned by the same person, but they have additional charges for the 3rd and 4th guests and had less pre-wedding sleeping space for the groomsmen. However, maybe one of these places will be a good fit for friends or family who wish to spend a long weekend in St Louis. Check 'em out here and here and under the guest information page on our website.

My only hesitation with this choice is that it might be more economical for an entire family to rent the larger apartment, since there is plenty of space to spread out and it would be cheaper than getting multiple hotel rooms; Ben and the groomsmen would survive just fine in one of the smaller apartments and goodness knows he and I don't need 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms to ourselves. If any of the aunts/uncles and their families or groups of friends are interested in this, please let me know so I can make the appropriate changes and reserve one of the smaller places as well! The weekend of our wedding is the first of post-season baseball, so the other two apartments are sure to be booked quickly.

We Did It: Non-floral Centerpieces

Once upon a time, I bought centerpieces before I was engaged. The evening before I was engaged, in fact, while I pranced around the house in a "Texas-style" veil I had made for my friend's bachelorette party in Austin that weekend. Ben said nothing at the irony and agreed that the post-Christmas sale (which led me to the centerpieces in the first place) was worth buying 22 of one item before there was a ring on my finger. One. Day. Before.

To be fair, I knew it was coming some time in the next few months. Ben and I had visited venues over the holidays, crafted our guest list, and knew an approximate range of how many people we could expect to show up. I did not know, however, that post-holiday sales could be so magical for someone planning a non-winter wedding. White string lights at 90% off, sure, but when I found these babies on Bed Bath and Beyond's website....

... I knew we had to make some premature decisions for the sake of a bargain. With my guest attendance range in mind, I did a quick mental calculation: I knew that 22 was a safe maximum number of tables, and at around $5 each with free shipping over $100, I could achieve a pretty striking-but-cost-effective centerpiece plan. [At this point I explained the urgency of the situation to Ben and he agreed that the branches looked cool and I was partially insane, but that it was a good idea to go ahead and buy them.] So, dreaming of twinkling branches under the Abbey's giant ceilings, I did. And then the engagement became an official thing the next day. The things I'll do for a bargain.

A few weeks later, I purchased batteries while they were 50% off at CVS, which brought the total-per-centerpiece to $6.41, and refocused on finding a branch receptacle. I actually had two aunts offer to help me with finding vases, as one had just held a vow renewal and the other works at Libbey Glass and gets a great discount. Because the branches are so tall and needed a good deal of support, I selected a few trial vases from Libbey and had them shipped to me. Ben and I (yes, he did share his opinion on this matter - what a great involved fiance!) decided that a simple 10" cylinder vase would be just right and my aunt generously offered to get them for us! However, the branches also needed a filler for extra support so that they wouldn't tip over the vase. After buying a few little bags of those shiny stones at Michael's (I used a coupon on a $1.50 item, duh) and deciding they didn't have the look I wanted, I searched Pinterest for a more natural-looking alternative and came across green split peas. I bought 1.5 lbs of these at Sprouts from the bulk bins for a whopping total of $1.60 and crossed my fingers.

Et voila! 

I love the peas and based on preliminary research, I think I can get the 38ish lbs I need at a much better price in bulk online. But let's just assume I spend $1.60/vase, which brings my total cost-per-centerpiece to $8.00! Seriously. That's pretty darn good compared to even the most simple of centerpieces from a florist.

The great thing about not having a strict dual-color plan for my wedding is that the gold branches - which are a bit more sparkly than I was expecting - still work in my "navy and natural" color palette. They're natural and the green peas are natural and I think with the venue-provided votive candles and navy blue napkins, our tables will look high-impact... but with a low-impact dent on our budget.

One final note: if I told you our budget and what chunk of it the catering consumes, you would probably ask why in the world we're having centerpieces at all. Well, the answer is that it's a relatively small temporary investment that I plan to recoup quickly. I will have these posted on Craigslist before the wedding day even happens; as in, I'm going to try to sell these before we depart for our mini-honeymoon. Based on my extensive knowledge of the Craigslist wedding marketplace (heck yes I looked for a wedding dress there), proper spelling/punctuation, a few pictures, and a fair price should get these off of my hands relatively quickly. They would look wonderful at a winter wedding, too! Anyone know someone who may want to buy them? ;-)

Wedding pet-peeves

Strangling: a great way to start your life with another person.

"It's the bride's day."
"The wedding day is the most important day of your [a bride's] life."*

People, it's time that we talked about these phrases. Before I lay the smack down, I want to preface my post with the notion that these are just my opinions and you're entitled to disagree with me. However, I believe that if we started to think more critically about what we're actually insinuating by saying things like this, people would use these phrases (and similar ones) less-often.

Let's start with the former. The point of a marriage is to unify two people, is it not? This unification might be shared with God or another deity, or it could be civil, but it is NEVER just a celebration of one person. Why in the world would a wedding day belong to only the bride (and what if there is no bride, or two brides?)? Did the bride oversee the creative vision of the cake and centerpieces and now has a right to enjoy it alongside of her spouse? Then say that. Does the bride need a little extra wiggle room in the photography timeline because it takes her 15 minutes to pee in the equivalent of a white tulle circus tent wrapped around her body or because the bridesmaids drank too many mimosas and one dropped her bouquet in a puddle? Then say that. But rationalizing a single person's behavior or expectations on the day of her/his formal union to another person makes absolutely no sense. It's not the bride's day. It's not the groom's day. It's the couple's day - or else there would be no marriage to speak of in the first place.

Now, about the wedding day being the "most important day of your life." I can see how this could be true for a given person's life up to the day of marriage. It is a big commitment worth celebrating, and all of the associated pomp and circumstance certainly renders the day an exciting one. I can understand how solidifying a union in a religious matter is a profound turning-point for some couples' life journey in faith. But for those couples who plan to start a family, is your $20,000 sparkle party more important than the day your child/children are born? It is more important than the day you buy your first home together or achieve your dream job or finish that 1st or 2nd or 3rd degree? Or is the wedding day just the first important day on a long list of important days that you and your spouse will share together?

I would love to hear your opinions on this. Am I a whole batch of crazy who happens to take semantics too literally, or does the fact that a bride-strangling-groom cake topper exists make you twitch in your seat a little?

*Edit: Keep the comments coming! Rachael is totally right about the lack of differentiation between "wedding" and "marriage." I agree 100% that the day you commit to marriage - whether that's in the form of an elaborate party called a wedding or simply an elopement on a mountain - does indeed lay the foundation for the rest of your partnership and everything that follows thereafter (kids, house, etc). What I meant to explain my frustration for is the thought that a wedding day is the most important day in a woman's life, as if anything she accomplishes individually will pale in comparison to the day she got married. The 1950's housewife mentality behind that statement is actually what grinds my gears. So feel free to share your thoughts on that distinction as well!

The Need for Repetition

Over the weekend, Ben and I officially fizzled our way into some sort of lackluster conclusion to the Beachbody P90x3 workout program. I wish I could insert this post into my "We Did It" category, but unfortunately we ended with both accomplishments and a few regrets.

I asked Ben to get me the P90x3 system for Christmas, and we started doing it together right away after getting engaged. [Side note: It was so cool to see an old classmate and cheerleading teammate appear in two of the workouts! Holla at ya, Lauren McNiel/ Murray, you rocked it!] Having been the type of person that didn't like to grunt or even breath too loud while doing 30 Day Shred workouts in the kitchen while Ben played video games in another room, I would say that P90x3 brought us muchhhh closer together. ;-) For 90 days, we did the workouts together in the garage or living room immediately after work; in total, we only missed about 5 of them. For me, getting on this type of regimen was a huge step forward and something I can be proud of. I can definitely do more push ups than I have ever done in my life and I can't believe how long I can hold a side-arm balance. I still can't do a pull up, but Ben can do way more that when he started. Although I only lost around 5 pounds, I know that I have gained muscle and toned up in many areas.

The eating plan was our downfall, although we did make many positive chances such as swapping out white tortillas/english muffins/breads for whole-grains and exchanging trail mixes and nuts for chips. Ben eats a sandwich for lunch on most days and he has completely replaced mayo with avocado. In the end, we both realized that following the meal plan more strictly is essential to seeing the type of results that are advertised. I admit that I utilized very little self-control when it came to things like eating out on the weekends and drinking beer or sugary mixed drinks. Personally, my goal will never be to eradicate social dinner and drinks completely; life is too short not to enjoy it with your friends now and then! Rather, I am hoping to better plan for and eat the proper proportions (according to the P90x3 meal plan), add a protein powder-based shake to my breakfast options, drink more water, and lift heavier weights for the second iteration of this program. There is an off-day built into the schedule with an optional workout, and I think I will begin running on that day while the weather is still pleasant.

For now, my biggest goal is to act on these improvements before Ben and I travel to Cleveland for our engagement photos (where we will undoubtedly smother ourselves in Great Lakes beer and Melt grilled cheese sandwich monstrosities).

Aesthetic: Colors

"What are your wedding colors?"

This is probably one of the most common questions - after "when's the big day?" - asked by strangers or acquaintances to show genuine interest in one's wedding planning, and for most people it's also the easiest question to answer. You can easily change your mind about your processional song or cake flavor, but wedding colors permeate through the entire planning process from beginning to end. The idea of a color duality dominates everything, from the invitations to the flowers and the apparel to the programs. Furthermore, the colors a couple chooses can immediately give insight into what kind of people they are. Red-and-white: a classic couple. Hot pink and black: a fun-loving couple (or bride). Pale blue and yellow: an easy-going couple. You get the idea.

So when I was asked this simple question at least 10 times over the weekend, you would think I'd have a straightforward answer like every other normal person. But alas, one of the biggest personality traits that Ben and I share is a desire to break rules and be a little different than everyone else. Today, I'll advocate for the concept of wedding color palettes. I personally feel that wedding style is moving away from the matchy-matchy look and more toward inspiration similar to interior design; thus, I've confidently deviated from the tradition of two distinct wedding colors and have opted for an array of complimenting tones and textures instead. Officially, I've been calling our color palette 'navy and natural:' a mix of navy (inspired by the sapphires in my ring), leafy greens, wooden tones, and cloudy gray and white.

Color palette inspiration can come in multiple forms: basic color swatches, a collage of photos or elements you like, or even just a single image. As far as I'm concerned, chevron, sequins, lace, glitter, or wood are all viable patterns and textures that can be included along with your colors. Here's a great example of a wedding that has done exactly that, and I think it's fabulous and fashion-forward! Notice how the gray, lavender, pink, navy and creams in the bridal party's attire all look classic and complimentary, but not rigid. The greenery in the bouquets provides a nice contrast to the muted tones. They've added sparkly elements and chevron for pops of modernity and fun. The combination of these design elements would translate nicely to a living room or little girl's room, don't you think?

Although I certainly acknowledge that it's not for everyone, there's my pitch for the wedding color palette. If assembling design elements seems as daunting as renovating your kitchen, you can hire a wedding designer just to create the "look" of your wedding (although I bet that costs a pretty penny). However, whenever I have spent a few minutes fretting over what vase filler to use in my centerpieces or worrying about the absence of an aisle-runner, I think of an important piece of wisdom courtesy of APW: you won't remember how your wedding looked, you'll remember how it felt. While all of this flower-centerpiece-creative-color-palette nonsense is extremely fun for me now, I truly hope that I'll look back on my wedding day and remember smiling faces and the feeling of joy above all else.

Blooms by the Box: Contest update!

There she is. Haunting your dreams yet? 

I've been patiently holding off on writing a new post since I have been torturing every social media outlet with flower spam for the past week. So here's a quick update about our entry in the Blooms by the Box contest!

For the first few days, we were neck-and-neck with another entry. However, we've now fallen behind by about 50 votes and only have until Sunday, April 13th at noon to catch up! All you have to do is visit our inspiration board and click 'like' - it's that easy! In fact, if every person who liked our Facebook-official engagement announcement liked our contest photo, we would be STOMPING the competition by over 200 votes! The second-place prize is $75, which would still be wonderful to win; I think I would use that money to DIY simple arrangements for the dessert bar/gift table or settle on super minimalistic maid's bouquets (I'm talking 3 hydrangea steams each and that's it). But for now I'll just maintain hope that we can pull ahead!

I did get a chance to meet with Bridget from Flowers to the People while in St Louis this past weekend, and she was just as awesome as I expected; she was completely encouraging of my DIY flower endeavor, saying that arranging bouquets "is not rocket science" (see guys, even the pro says it's doable!!). She happened to be working on some flowers that are pretty darn close to my vision and I'm now waiting on her estimate. Although free is ALWAYS better in my book, I think we have a great alternative if the Blooms by the Box contest doesn't end in our favor.